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A laugh-out-loud funny, surprisingly romantic, zombie road trip novel filled with heart—and brains. Eat, Brains, Love is perfect for fans of Isaac Marion's Warm Bodies.

The good news: Jake's dream girl, Amanda Blake, finally knows his name.

The bad news: it's because they both contracted a mysterious zombie virus and devoured the brains of half their senior class. Now Jake and Amanda are on the run from Cass, a teen psychic sent by the government's top-secret Necrotic Control Division to track them down. As Jake and Amanda deal with the existential guilt of eating their best friends and set off in search of a cure for the zombie virus, Cass struggles with a growing psychic dilemma of her own—one that will lead all three of them on an epic journey across the country and make them question what it means to truly be alive. Or undead.

• Sales Rank: #1022970 in eBooks
• Published on: 2013-10-01
• Released on: 2013-10-01
• Format: Kindle eBook

From School Library Journal
Gr 9 Up-A loner and a bit of a derelict, Jake is not your typical high school student. His ideal day is playing Call of Duty-type games on Xbox. But all that changes when he turns into a zombie in the school cafeteria and consumes his best friend and many members of the senior class. When he becomes human again, he finds himself allied with the most unlikely partner-Amanda Blake. A popular and gorgeous cheerleader, she has never given Jake the time of day. Realizing that they need each other to survive as zombies, Jake and Amanda try to retain their humanity while searching for answers or a possible cure. To complicate matters, they are being hunted by a top-secret government organization that uses teen psychics to locate zombies. Cass, one of the psychics, finds herself sympathizing with Jake and Amanda's situation while discovering that members of this organization are involved in experiments that Cass considers unethical and immoral. Told from alternating chapters by Jake and Cass, Hart's action-packed plot is full of suspense and humor. Although some characters seem superficial and stereotypical, readers can't help but identify with their struggles, their principles, and, most importantly, their humanity. A captivating first installment that leaves fans eagerly awaiting its sequel.-Donna Rosenblum, Floral Park Memorial High School, NYα(c) Copyright 2013. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

From Booklist
One day Jake is a happy, video-game-playing stoner struggling to complete his House of Mirth presentation for English class, and the next, he is an undead fugitive on the run from government agents bent on neutralizing the threat—him. It’s not all bad. At least he’s in the company of Amanda, one of the most popular and beautiful girls in school, even if she is a zombie as well, and she, like Jake, ate a ton of their classmates when they first turned. Meanwhile, Cass, the youngest and most powerful telepath in the Necrotic Control Division, is proving herself instrumental in hunting down Jake and Amanda. But their psychic signatures make Cass wonder how far gone all zombies truly are. Though not a precise parody of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love (2006), the book features characters shambling toward personal identity in sweet, funny, and incisive ways. The process of zombification, the search for safety, and even Cass’ psychic abilities are well defined through skilled world building. Zombie fans will find this debut full of (undead) heart. Grades 9-12. --Courtney Jones

Review
“One hell of a road trip … funny, gross and scary in equal, alternating measures. Readers will be slavering for the sequel.” (Kirkus Reviews)

“Debut author Hart brings a sympathetic voice to the zombie phenomenon in this offbeat adventure … with touches of humor and teenage self-awareness.” (Publishers Weekly)

“Hart’s action-packed plot is full of suspense and humor. A captivating first installment that leaves fans eagerly awaiting its sequel.” (School Library Journal)

“Features characters shambling toward personal identity in sweet, funny, and incisive ways. Zombie fans will find this debut full of (undead) heart.” (Booklist)

Most helpful customer reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
It was ok but I'm not gonna die if I don't read it
By Crossroad Reviews
My Review- 3 Stars
It was ok but I'm not gonna die if I don't read it

I really wanted to fan girl over this one. But, it wasn't met to be. Although I did like it. It was one of those books that was more of a meh. It was an ok read but I wouldn't have died if I had never heard of it. This one just didn't have that spark that some books have that make you want to die because you have to wait an entire year for the next in the series. And this one just didn't have that.

That being said this one really made me think of the vampire books out there. Because it pretty much was the same. Where if the vamps get a healthy dose of blood they pretty much look and can pass as human. And that concept for Zombies was GREAT! I kinda wonder why no one else had done that before. The characters were mediocre. I did like Cass the best. She really comes into her powers by the end of this book and figures out what she can do, although she is still working on it. Jake I'm still not to sure about and I think that Amanda is better off being a Zom I think she is better for it.

I think this is one of those books that if you are a die hard zombie fan that you should read it. And if you aren't then maybe see if you can borrow it first.

PS. I do have to say that I love this guys titles!

Go Into This One Knowing
Go into this one knowing that they use the F work a LOT! There is some sex but nothing that I wouldn't let me ten year old read.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
So I can rightfully say that this book is no Warm Bodies. Not even close.
By Cheryl Koch
Jake and Amanda go to the same high school. Jake awoke this morning feeling sick. Maybe it was the book report that he had to turn in or maybe it was because he has turned into a zombie and just devoured half of his friends and classmates. Jake awakes to find Amanda by his side. Amanda has also turned into a zombie. Now they are on the run form the government.

One of the references this book is compared to is Warm Bodies by Issac Marion. I read Warm Bodies and loved that book. So I can rightfully say that this book is no Warm Bodies. Not even close. The relationship between Jake and Amanda was strictly friends if you could call it that. It was really like close acquaintances. Not that I think I would have believed any romantic intentions between Jake and Amanda. I really liked the story as Jake and Amanda felt real still to me then just undead zombies.

Cass while a good psychic I did expect more from her. I thought she was suppose to be this big strong threat to Jake and Amanda. Instead she was just a puppet. I wanted Cass to give Jake and Amanda something to fear. I found after a while that I wanted to just read Jake and Amanda's parts. When I got to the end, I was somewhat like "This is it?"

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
of all the zombie books I pick to read...
By Patricia R. Andersen
I picked "Eat, Brains, Love" by Jeff Hart from the Vine list because I found the title amusing. Yes, it's a YA book but some of them can be very good. This sounded (to me) like it could be funny. But it wasn't all that funny.
It's the typical high school plot - the nerdy guy with the crush of the super popular girl in class. And all of us know that in real life, nerdy boy does not get hot chick. But somewhere along the way, these two pick up a zombie virus and the student body becomes their high school cafeteria.
Some of this is funny. Some of this is gross. If you are a fan of "Twilight", I would tell you to avoid this book. If you don't like reading about people eating other peoples feet, this is not the book for you. If the idea of somebody snacking on intestines thrills you, this book is for you. I know it's not the book for me.

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Annesley William Streane's The Age of the Maccabees is a concise history of the Maccabees from the 6th to the 1st century B.C. This edition includes table of contents is included.

• Sales Rank: #1375697 in eBooks
• Published on: 2013-02-02
• Released on: 2013-02-02
• Format: Kindle eBook

Most helpful customer reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Stilted Language, Difficult to Follow Information
By CAB
Informative but very difficult to read. The information was somewhat helpful, however, the writing was stilted and difficult to follow. I plowed through the book and was able to gleen a small bit of background history about the Maccabees but I would not do it again. I'm sure there are better written books available that provide a history of the time.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
This Is Not an Introductory Book on Judaism
By JJares
Obviously, my aim in reading this book did not fit the style of this volume. I wanted to learn about Jewish religion and history and this book seemed to assume the reader knew lots about both and seemed to summarize a few hundred years of history.

It made this book difficult to understand; if there had been a few maps to help a newbie along, I think I could have absorbed more. However, the story was told in a vacuum; I needed some history behind the history told in this book.

Because my low understanding was probably my own fault, I gave the book a 3 star rating.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Great Book
By Bill Wilcox
Excellent book. Full of information about the period. Just what I was looking for. I recommend it highly for a good read.

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Seventeen years after Robert E. Lee's surrender at Appomattox, one final, dramatic confrontation occurred between the Lee family and the United States government. In The Last Battle of the Civil War, Anthony J. Gaughan recounts the fascinating saga of United States v. Lee, known to history as the "Arlington Case."

Prior to the Civil War, Mary Lee, Robert E. Lee's wife, owned the estate that Arlington National Cemetery rests on today. After the attack on Fort Sumter, however, the Union army seized the Lees' Arlington home and converted it into a national cemetery as well as a refugee camp for runaway slaves.

In 1877 George Washington Custis Lee, Robert and Mary's eldest son, filed suit demanding that the federal government pay the Lees just compensation for Arlington. In response, the Justice Department asserted that sovereign immunity barred Lee and all other private plaintiffs from bringing Fifth Amendment takings cases. The courts, the government claimed, had no jurisdiction to hear such lawsuits.

In a historic ruling, the Supreme Court rejected the government's argument. As the majority opinion explained, "All the officers of the government, from the highest to the lowest, are creatures of the law and are bound to obey it." The ruling made clear that the government was legally obligated by the Fifth Amendment to pay just compensation to the Lees.

The Court's ruling in United States v. Lee affirmed the principle that the rule of law applies equally to ordinary citizens and high government officials. As the justices emphasized, the Constitution is not suspended in wartime and government officials who violate the law are not beyond the reach of justice. Ironically, the case also represented a watershed on the path of sectional reconciliation. By ruling in favor of the Lee family, the justices demonstrated that former Confederates would receive a fair hearing in the federal courts.

Gaughan provides a riveting account of the Civil War's final battle, a struggle whose outcome became a significant step on the path to national reunion.

• Sales Rank: #1643021 in eBooks
• Published on: 2011-05-02
• Released on: 2011-05-02
• Format: Kindle eBook

About the Author
Anthony J. Gaughan is an attorney and historian. He received his Ph.D. in history from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and his J.D. from Harvard Law School.  He will begin teaching law at Drake University in August 2011.

Most helpful customer reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
An interesting and readable book
By James W. Durney
The official name is Arlington National Cemetery. This is the name used in documents, records and formal correspondence. Arlington, just that one word, is all that needs to be said. Arlington, floods us with vivid images; the Tomb of the Unknowns, JFK's grave, lines of white crosses each with a small American Flag. Since 1861, America buries her honored dead there. To be buried at Arlington is an honor and a privilege reserved for a select few. Arlington celebrated in song and the centerpiece of novels holds a unique place in America's heart.

In 1861, Arlington is a 1,100-acre hillside estate located in Virginia dominating Washington City in the District of Columbia. From the main house you can see the White House, the Washington Monument and the Capitol building. The estate is owned by Mary Custis Lee, wife of Colonel Robert E. Lee, who is on extended leave settling his Father-in-laws estate. Under the terms of the will Mary Custis Lee owns the estate. After her death of Lee's wife, George Washington Custis Lee inherits Arlington. The American Civil War upsets this line of secession when the Lees join the Confederacy and Arlington is occupied by the Federal Government.

War brings out both the best and the worst of human nature; heroics and sacrifice vie with hate revenge. Civil war intensifies the hate and revenge with families and friends splitting apart. Arlington is an example of this, as the Federal Government passed laws to punish rebels by seizing their property for a variety of reasons. Laws were passed and procedures established to facilitate these seizures. During the war, people applauded the government's seizing property. In the years after the war these actions acquired a different perspective. Courts ruled against the government awarding compensation for these seizures. Turning over a farm or paying compensation to the average ex-Confederate is one thing. Returning a national cemetery and a Freeman's village to Robert E. Lee's son is a different story entirely! George Washington Custis Lee understood that he would never own his Grandfather's estate. He had no expectation or desire of exhuming the dead soldiers or evicting the Freeman from their homes. However, he did want compensation and tried to secure it through political channels. The simple truth is that no Republican controlled Congress would pass legislation paying a Lee for anything. Reluctantly, as time was running out, George Washington Custis Lee sued the United States Government.

Post Civil War America is about property. The public demands law respects and protects personal property. If property is lost or damaged, by the government, the owner has the right to compensation. Their is almost no question in the public's mind on this point. While the government is sovereign and not subject to being sued persons occupying the property can be sued. Legal history is difficult and tricky. The author has to make the laws understandable while capturing the difference between then and now. If they fail, the result is an incomprehensible book that cures insomnia. Success opens a door to the past showing application of law and the workings of the judicial system.

This book is a unique look at America in the years after the war. Reconstruction is dead. America in the early stages of Reconciliation, neither side is sure if this is possible or wanted. Republicans still control national politics but Democrats are changeling this. Anthony J. Gaughan succeeded in showing this America through one interesting lawsuit. The book clearly explains the law, court procedures and politics making an interesting, readable book.

2 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Interesting and relevant
By Benjamin Martin
Anthony Gaughan is able to present the case of United States v. Lee in a compelling manner. The message of Gaughan's work is surprisingly relevant to America and its leader's today. A must read.

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ANCIENT EGYPTIAN SCANDAL Nefertidy Tells All!

Newly discovered diaries and postcards from Ancient Egypt reveal that King Tutankhamun was a bit of a mummy's boy – but what can you expect from a nine-year-old ruler with a mother like Nefertidy! Astonishing details of life in Ancient Egypt are revealed from a completely different perspective. / Pharaohs and pyramids / Hieroglyphics and hairstyles / Scribes and slaves / Isis, Osiris and all those other gods / Floodings and feasts / Medicine and mummies / Treasures and trophies / And much, much more! You've never read anything like it before!

• Sales Rank: #1189432 in eBooks
• Published on: 2013-03-07
• Released on: 2013-03-07
• Format: Kindle eBook

About the Author

Clive Dickinson has worked widely in both fiction and non-fiction children’s publishing for twenty years. His novels for Collins include the much loved ‘Knickers, My Secret Notebook Aged 7/8/9’ and ‘The Lost Diary of Tutankhamen’s Mummy,’ from the ‘faction’ series.

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Floating down a lazy river, Benny finds a blackmail scheme in progress.

• Sales Rank: #235150 in eBooks
• Published on: 2010-12-14
• Released on: 2010-12-14
• Format: Kindle eBook

Most helpful customer reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Great!!!
By Reagan willingham
This is my 2nd time reading it and I still love it. It's a quick read and very funny. This book is best for 6-8 year olds but I'm 10 and in 4th grade!!

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A WELCOME DEPARTURE FROM THE PIXAR DISNEY COMMERICIAL FEST
By Ad Dawg
Great story that is written for children. Not like all those Pixar and Disney movies which say it a kids a movie but a lot of the humor and dialogue is adult slanted. Just a good old fashion reality based story. Felt great to have my kids watch this and I will enjoying it too. My daughter reads all the books and highly recommend them too.

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Five Stars
By karyn
We love Boxcar Children! It's all my 9 year old wants to read on his own!!!

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This fascinating book reveals the secrets of fast bowling and explains how it is possible to simultaneously bowl fast, straight and accurately. The Fast Bowler's Bible is a very practical, easily accessible bowling manual that any seam or swing bowler playing at any level can understand. It contains explosive new information being used by the world's best cricketers."I wish that I had met Ian Pont, the bowling coach, ten years before I did... Ian is an expert in his field and has got some excellent ideas on how to engineer a bowling action." Ronnie Irani, Essex and England. Written by one of the world's best fast-bowling coaches.Well illustrated with sixty photographs and thirty-four diagrams and drawings.Explains what part of your body generates pace and why holding onto the ball longer is far more effective.Unravels the mysteries of advanced biomechanics as they apply to bowling.Reveals how to bowl crushingly effective bouncers and yorkers every time.Discusses what to do in practice and what to avoid.Analyses how to train and exercise in order to produce the best results.Illustrates all the correct grips for each delivery so that you get it right every time.Describes how to increase pace effortlessly, how to adopt the correct mental approach, how to deal with pressure, how to apply it to the opposition, and much more.This invaluable book tells you everything you need to know about how to bowl fast.Packed with tips and tricks, it is essential reading for bowlers of all ages as well as their coaches.Well illustrated with sixty black & white photographs and thirty-four diagrams and drawings.Ian Pont is an expert in his field and one of the world's best fast-bowling coaches.

• Sales Rank: #941295 in eBooks
• Published on: 2013-03-01
• Released on: 2013-03-01
• Format: Kindle eBook

Review
"I wish that I had met Ian Pont, the bowling coach, ten years before I did... Ian is an expert in his field and has got some excellent ideas on how to engineer a bowling action." Ronnie Irani, Essex and England

About the Author
Ian Pont was an aggressive fast bowler who played first-class cricket for Northamptonshire, Essex and Kwa-Zulu Natal. Renowned for his naturally gifted, powerful arm, he has recorded the second longest cricket ball throw of all time. Ian works with international and county bowlers and his success at improving bowling actions for speed, straight lines and accuracy means that he is much in demand.

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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
The sooner you get this, the better your results will be.
By spk
I play league cricket in the USA. After my knee surgery, I have lost the rythm in my bowling, lost pace and spraying the ball around. I have been looking for a book that teaches me not just what to do, but also the mechanics behind it. In that sense, it is the only book available.

Author followed how and why to do every step that constitutes the bowling action, starting from the run up to follow through. I have improved my pace and control within a couple of practice sessions. I recommend this book to every bowler.

One caution is that one may need to read the book again and again to understand it, at least in my case.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Easy to learn but its still a book
By Mohit L.
Fast bowling cannot be improved by reading a book. Nevertheless it will tell you how things should be done. At the end of the day, you need somebody to watch your action or you need to record it on a continuous basis to enable corrective action. A very good read, but be real and you will see results if you work with somebody who has read the book.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Fast bowlers bible - valueable resource
By C. Bradford
Like anything in coaching, particularly coaching fast bowlers, nothing is the total be end of all. This book, however, provides a valuable resource for coaches learning their way. It adds to the library and gives another interesting point of view to ponder when looking at your own coaching methods. I for one found ti to be a well written and easy to understand book. Well set out, some very good information.

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She has nothing to lose if he is lying—aside from her virtue…

Jack Worth lives a life of roguish adventure, money-making schemes and ever-changing women. He'll be damned if he settles down and finds a wife…until he inherits a noble title and estate—but without the riches.

Distant cousin Laurel is the unwitting heiress to all the money. Brought up in a Spanish convent, and longing for a family of her own, she's prepared to enter into a marriage of convenience. Finding a home in Jack's arms is more than she could have dreamed about, but deception and mistaken identities test her newfound love to the limit.

• Sales Rank: #383258 in eBooks
• Published on: 2013-06-01
• Released on: 2013-06-01
• Format: Kindle eBook
• Number of items: 1

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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Not a good marriage-of-convenience read
By Mary @ *Buried Under Romance*
Jack Worth is a rake, gambler, and all-around libertine, who suddenly finds himself in the extraordinary position of being the new Earl of Elderidge, a penury title inherited from a distant cousin. Though all the entailed estates and the responsibilities of his tenants fall upon him, all the previous Earl's money are given to his daughter, Laurel Worth, who was sent to a Spanish convent soon after her birth. Suffice it to say, Jack desperately needs money to keep the estates afloat, so he forms a plan to seduce Laurel and marry her to gain her inheritance, a plan that was heavily endorsed by the family solicitor.

Laurel has grown up confined but well-cared for in the convent, with only a slight memory of her parents. Upon leaving the convent, Laurel becomes a governess to unruly Spanish brats, though she longs to start her own family. Just when she is molested by yet another employer, Jack comes and saves her, taking her back to England as his "dear cousin." Immediately, he proposes a marriage of convenience, his stated reason to protect Laurel's reputation as they would have traveled alone on the trip. Laurel agrees, and thus their marriage of convenience begins on deceit, as Jack neglected to tell Laurel of her inheritance.

There are frankly too many plot holes and characterization problems in this story for me to enjoy it. Despite the author's attempt to show that Jack had a conscience, that his guilt was overwhelming when he deceived Laurel for his own gain, he never did much to redeem himself. If anything, he became worse as the story progressed. Upon their initial meeting, Jack was intrigued by Laurel's hidden passion under an unassuming exterior. As he learned more about her, she showed intelligence, humor, and kindness, all of which surprised but pleased him. However, he behaved like an arrogant lord-of-the-manor, not letting Laurel even see the household accounts when she wanted to make herself useful with her good accounting ability. First, he didn't want her to know he was using her money, and second, he simply didn't think that was Laurel's place as a female. His chauvinistic attitudes were immensely grating, and worse, he does not become much better by the end of the story. The highlight of his faults would have to be when he accused Laurel of deceiving him (SPOILER: The former Earl's daughter had died as a babe, and the family solicitor sent his own daughter, Laurel, to the convent. So Laurel is not the true daughter of the former Earl). Laurel had done no such thing, but Jack accused a 3-year-old of perpetrating a grand scheme against him when he was the one who sought to take her money!

By this point, I could barely stomach the story. What comes after is Laurel finally growing a backbone and running away, before Jack could have her thrown in jail. Jack, suddenly realizing how much he wants Laurel, went chasing after her across Europe, where he had to confront a sex trader who was randomly thrown in the story as a last minute adversary, and then it's happily-ever-after for the two. While he was trying to find Laurel, Jack complained of Laurel's faults yet could barely acknowledge any of his own. He admits that were she to not have run away, he likely would have thrown her to jail, believing her to have tricked him in marriage.

I would not recommend this book. There is barely a plot, and the hero is just downright overbearing and chauvinistic. Laurel is better, though she lacked a personality throughout most of the story and suddenly became brave enough to run away from her accusing love near the end. (All things considered, it is understandable to not wait for someone to arrest you on false charges.) This is the first book I've read by the author, and may just be the last.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Not really a romance
By ReadytoRead
At first I thought this could be an okay book, but I kept reading and it just got slower and more frustrating. There really was no romance. It was a story told about two people who came into a title, but that is it. It almost became a joke every time an excuse was made where the "married" couple would not have a wedding night.

Not romance. If it was a different genre, it would have been okay and less frustrating to read.

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"I bought the milk," said my father. "I walked out of the corner shop, and heard a noise like this: t h u m m t h u m m. I looked up and saw a huge silver disc hovering in the air above Marshall Road."

"Hullo," I said to myself. "That's not something you see every day. And then something odd happened."

Find out just how odd things get in this hilarious New York Times bestselling story of time travel and breakfast cereal, expertly told by Newbery Medalist and bestselling author Neil Gaiman and illustrated by Skottie Young.

• Sales Rank: #50259 in eBooks
• Published on: 2013-09-17
• Released on: 2013-09-17
• Format: Kindle eBook

From School Library Journal
Gr 3-6-A tale of the bravery and selflessness exhibited by a father taking care of his children while his wife is away. Despite Mom's advance warning, the family finds itself ready for breakfast but without milk for cereal and tea, so Dad takes a trip to the store to get some. Upon his long-awaited return, he gives the children a fantastical and descriptive explanation of the adventures he faced while trying to make it back home. Not only did he embark on a time-traveling hot-air balloon ride with a stegosaurus, but he also confronted pirates, aliens, wumpires, and a volcano god, never losing possession of the milk. Gaiman knocks it out of the park again with this imaginative story. His outrageous plot is perfectly paced to keep advanced and reluctant readers enthralled, and his use of onomatopoeia and humorous descriptions will make the book hard to put down. Reminiscent of Roald Dahl's titles, it will sweep children away into an unimagined world and make them wonder if their own parents have ever had any secret adventures. Young's frequent black-and-white cartoons add to the wackiness of this tall tale.-Amy Shepherd, St. Anne's Episcopal School, Middleton, DEα(c) Copyright 2013. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

From Booklist
A little boy and his little sister awake one morning, milkless. Their mother is away on business, their father is buried in the paper, and their Toastios are dry. What are young siblings to do? They impress upon their father that his tea is also without milk and sit back to watch their plan take effect. But something goes amiss, and their father doesn’t return and doesn’t return some more. When he does, finally, he has a story to tell, a story involving aliens; pirates; ponies; wumpires (not the handsome, brooding kind); and a stegosaurus professor who pilots a Floaty-Ball-Person-Carrier (which looks suspiciously like a hot-air balloon). There is time travel, treachery, and ample adventure, and, fortunately, the milk he has procured is rescued at every turn. Gaiman’s oversize, tongue-in-cheek narrative twists about like the impromptu nonsense it is, with quick turns, speed bumps, and one go-for-broke dairy deus ex machina. Young fills the pages with sketchy, highly stylized images, stretched and pointy, bringing the crazed imaginations to life with irrepressible energy. Children will devour this one, with or without milk. HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: A national media campaign and select author appearances are on the docket to celebrate the release of Newbery Award–winning Gaiman’s latest. Grades 3-6. --Thom Barthelmess

Review
Gaiman knocks it out of the park again with this imaginative story. (School Library Journal)

This would also make a wonderful readaloud, but don’t be surprised if the kids insist that it be read in one sitting--and maybe with a side of cookies and milk. (Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books)

“[A] delightful tale.” (Wall Street Journal)

“If your kids still allow you to read aloud to them, this book is for you.” (Newsday)

“[A]n astounding tale…an absolute delight to read out loud….one part Douglas Adams, one part Doctor Who, and one part The Usual Suspects.” (boingboing.com)

“It’s hard not to love a novel that borrows equally from Calvin and Hobbes and The Usual Suspects. If you read only one book this year, a story with dancing dwarfs is always a wise choice.” (Kirkus Reviews)

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99 of 105 people found the following review helpful.
"where there is milk, there is hope."
By Alpha Reader
Only Neil Gaiman could delight two polar-opposite readerships by releasing one of the most buzzed-about adult books of the year (`The Ocean at the End of the Lane' - so good I still can't bring myself to write a review because THERE ARE NO WORDS!) and then a few months later a lavishly wonderful children's book. It's not surprising, really, because Neil Gaiman wrote both `American Gods' and `Coraline' - cementing himself as a fine storyteller for all ages.

`Fortunately, the Milk. . . ' being Gaiman's children's foray, his Bloomsbury publishers know they can be a bit more blunt and honest with their younger readers. Hence this very apt author billing of 'Ridiculously Bestselling Author'

The book is about a father left in charge of his two children when their mum goes off to a conference. But the first disaster strikes at breakfast-time, when they run out of milk. So it's up to dad to trot down to the corner store for a refill . . . but he takes ages and ages, and it's only upon his return that the children discover what took him so long.

The whole book is a bit tongue-in-cheek, and there's something here for the intended 8-12 readership, as well as the parents for whom this will be bedtime reading. For the kids there are; Dwarves, wumpires, a stegosaurus, aliens, pirates, ponies, a volcano god . . . then for the adult readers there are some references to The Usual Suspects, a little Doctor Who-esque time travel conundrum and some making fun of Twilight. It's all a bit brilliant really. Even more so because Chris Riddell's illustrations have made the dad look like Neil Gaiman himself - which makes me think back on an old blog post Gaiman once posted about where he gets his ideas from.

Interestingly, there are two versions of Gaiman's latest children's book. There's the US and Canada book illustrated by Skottie Young - this version does not include a Neil-Father lookalike, and is perhaps the slightly more conventional children's book. Chris Riddell's illustrated book for Australia and UK includes the ellipsis in the title `. . . ' and the shiniest cover you ever did see. There's also some symmetry in Riddell lending his drawings to `Fortunately', because Riddell also illustrated the anniversary edition of `Coraline'.

Either way, Gaiman's extravagant story is a lot of fun with moments of quiet brilliance. I don't know about anyone else, but when I read the blurb for `Fortunately, the Milk. . . ' about a father who takes a jolly good time to get home to his children with their promised milk, I instantly thought of the old cliché prevalent in many stories; that a father went to buy a packet of cigarettes one morning and never came home. The basis being that father's don't really hold up so well in many stories; so I love that Gaiman took that old cliché and made a minor hero of this father and detailed his grand adventures to get home to his kids.

Oh! And never forget, "where there is milk, there is hope."

51 of 57 people found the following review helpful.
"Fortunately, the Milk" is for all dairy and non-dairy consumers!
By Jamie Steidle
Neil Gaiman’s “Fortunately, the Milk” is as charming as it sounds. A story to delight even the most lactose intolerant. Read it with your morning breakfast, your coffee or tea; this book will surely please. A wonderful romp full of whimsy, time-travel, dairy and numerous globulous aliens. If you haven’t read any of Neil Gaiman’s works here is a great place to start. It’s good for all ages. Read it with a glass of milk! A book fortified to get you through your day!

If you like Doctor Who, Back to the Future, Monty Python, Neil Gaiman, laughing, reading good books, or dairy, than I suggest reading “Fortunately the milk”. If you don’t like at least one of these things, well, then I suggest consulting a physician immediately.

390 of 465 people found the following review helpful.
This is not a book about little girls in Nazi Germany
By Jenny Lawson
I finished The Book Thief and couldn't stop doing the ugly cry so my husband made me promise to stop reading books about small children in Nazi Germany for at least a day. I read this book instead and it didn't make me ugly cry at all. In fact, it was deliciously wonderful and I reveled in the lack of swastikas.

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@ PDF Ebook Trumped Up Charges (Big Book 1), by Joanna Wayne

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When a mother's love meets a father's instinct…

Ex-marine Adam Dalton once dreamed of a life with Hadley O'Sullivan, but war and a near-fatal injury cost him dearly. Now he returns to Dallas to discover the unthinkable—Hadley is the prime suspect in the disappearance of her twin baby girls…the daughters he never knew he had.

Beyond Hadley's terror of having her children kidnapped is the shock of seeing Adam. Yes, she had kept him from his daughters, but now, when he insists they work together as a united front, she knows she is still in love with him. Despite their past, finding their children is their only hope to finally becoming a family—if time doesn't run out first.

• Sales Rank: #300846 in eBooks
• Published on: 2013-06-01
• Released on: 2013-06-01
• Format: Kindle eBook

About the Author
Joanna began her professional writing career in 1994. Now, almost forty published books later, Joanna has made a name for herself as being on the cutting edge of romantic suspense. She currently resides in a small community forty miles north of Houston, Texas. Joanna loves hearing from readers and you can email her at joannawayne@hotmail.com or write her at PO Box  852, Montgomery, TX 77356.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Adam Dalton pulled up behind a line of cars, pickup trucks and the Harley that blocked the driveway in front of the rambling ranch house. Judging from the number of vehicles, he'd guess all four of his half brothers and one half sister had also shown up for the reading of the will.

He'd never met any of his half siblings. The only reason he knew most of them existed was because their names and relationship were all listed in the letter he'd gotten inviting him to the ranch for this dubious occasion.

The legacy of Reuben Jackson Dalton.

R.J., the father he hadn't seen in twenty-seven years. All he knew of his biological father had come from his mother, Jerri, wife number three. If she'd ever said anything good about R.J., Adam didn't recall it.

But she must have loved him once—before she'd put him completely out of her life. She'd even lied about his being alive for years—which was strange in its own right, since she was normally a stickler for the truth.

She'd divorced R.J. when Adam was four years old.

He didn't remember a lot about that, but he did remember crying when they'd driven away from the ranch.

His mother had married again when Adam was eleven and Doug Abbott had become Adam's father in every way that mattered until he'd been killed in an early-morning pileup in a dense fog when Adam was eighteen. In his heart and mind, his father had died that day.

Still, Adam had always wondered about R.J. But from the time he was old enough to remember asking about him, his mother had told him R.J. had died soon after their divorce. He could tell she didn't like talking about him, so he'd eventually quit bringing up the subject.

Adam was twenty-one and leaving for his first tour of duty as a U.S. Marine before she admitted that R.J. was alive. Even then it was clear she hoped Adam wouldn't get in touch with him. She cautioned him that R. J. Dalton was nothing but trouble and had never cared anything about him or anyone else.

Nonetheless, Adam had thought about visiting R.J. then. He'd even gone so far as to get into his truck and start toward the ranch. He'd changed his mind before he'd reached the turnoff at Oak Grove. If R.J. had wanted him in his life, he'd have come looking for him. Adam would have been easy to find.

That's why the letter requesting his presence for the reading of the will had come as such a shock. He hadn't even heard that R.J. had died.

Oddly, Adam felt a twinge of loss as he opened the door to his truck and planted his feet on the hard earth. He wasn't sure if it was for R.J. or just for what might have been had R.J. ever been a real father to him.

But being overlooked by R.J. was only a precursor to the rejection that had come later. Hadley O'Sullivan had seen to that.

While he'd been fighting for his life from injuries sustained in an ambush on a craggy mountainside in Afghanistan, she'd found a replacement lover. She'd married him and given birth to twins before Adam was even out of rehab. Apparently Hadley, like R.J., figured Adam was easy to forget.

All in the past, he reminded himself as he climbed the wide wooden steps to the house. The clamor of voices coming from behind the closed doors promised that this was not a friendly meeting. Dread punched him in the gut. He didn't need this.

His phone rang as he turned the doorknob. He checked the caller ID. It was his mother, no doubt wanting to know how the gathering of the clan was going. He ignored the call and turned his phone to vibrate.

Right now he just wanted to get the will reading over and done with. He'd expected nothing from R.J. while the man was alive. He didn't expect any more now, so how bad could the meeting be?

As soon as he took a seat, Attorney Conroe Phipps called the meeting to order and had the siblings introduce themselves. And then the fun started.

Phipps used his laser to point out each preposterous detail as he went over the requirements to receive a share of RJ.'s estate. The jolts came hard and fast, similar to an emotional earthquake with countless aftershocks.

Adam scanned the room, briefly studying each of his half siblings. They were clearly as stunned as he was.

Jade, the only female of the group, was kicking her crossed leg with a ferocity that made him think she was about to propel into orbit. Even Cannon, the rodeo cowboy of the group and the one person Adam thought might have been more receptive to the terms of the will, wore an expression that looked as if he'd been kicked by a bull.

No one was smiling. Adam himself swallowed a few curses along the way. He figured there would be time to vent his protests and frustrations once the long-winded attorney finished his spiel.

"To sum it up," Phipps said as he put down his laser, "in order to collect your share of the estate, you have to not only live on the ranch but take an active role in its operations for one full year."

Questions and arguments started flying with everybody talking at once. Phipps's only response to the chaos was a look of snide satisfaction, as if the uproar was exactly what he'd expected and possibly hoped for.

"I have a successful career. Do you honestly expect me to give that up to play cowboy?"

"How can we possibly all live here at once? It's a big house, but not that big."

"How much money are we talking about? Is there any oil involved?"

"If there's nothing but the ranch, why can't we just sell it and split the money? This much land so close to Dallas should be worth a small fortune."

"My mother was right. R. J. Dalton was nuts. I say we get our own attorney and prove he was mentally incompetent. There's no way I'm living out here in the middle of nowhere."

That last complaint had come from Jade who had stopped kicking and was now standing with her hands firmly planted on her hips.

Phipps clapped his hands loudly to get everyone's attention. "I know you have lots of questions, so I'm going to turn this meeting over to the man whom the money currently belongs to and whose last will and testament seem to be causing you so much distress."

He grinned and nodded toward a door that was opening behind him. "Come in, R.J., and meet your loving and appreciative family."

Mouths flew open, including Adam's, as an older, gray-haired man with ruddy, weathered skin and an eagle tattoo on his wrinkled right arm sauntered into the room.

Apparently R. J. Dalton was still very much alive. If there was any grief in the room after this, Adam figured R.J. would be the one dishing it out.

R.J. took his place at the front of the room and eyeballed each of his offspring in turn. He recognized all of them from current pictures he'd had his neighbor and former private investigator Meghan Lambert locate for him.

A few of his adult children showed a slight resemblance to him. Most didn't. But the most surprising thing was that they'd all shown up today and none had bolted and run yet even though they had no idea how much he was really worth.

"Guess you're surprised to see me here," he said, purposely exaggerating his Texas drawl. "Didn't see why I should send a corpse in my place and miss all the fun. But don't worry. According to my friendly neurosurgeon, I'll be lucky if I see the new year ring in."

To his children's credit, no one cheered at that pronouncement. But that could be because they were still in shock that he wasn't already dead as they'd been led to believe.

"I know it's only eleven in the morning, but this is Texas. There's beer, coffee and some of the best dadgum barbecue this side of the Mississippi River in the kitchen."

"The kitchen we're all supposed to share for a year," someone grumbled.

"There's nothing in the will about sharing living quarters. There's a bunkhouse, a horse barn and a drafty old foreman's cabin on the property. I have to warn you, though, the cabin's starting to lean and the bunkhouse needs a new roof."

"And I suppose the horse barn is full of dead horses?" Jade quipped.

"Wrong. I got ten of the best damn thoroughbreds in the county and eight other good riding horses. I'm sure your mothers have told you that I've got a head as hard as a frozen wheel hub. That's all true. However I'm open to questions or just to chat. But I can assure you that the rules aren't going to change. So basically all you have to do is make up your mind. Do you want to be cut in or cut out?"

"To start, I think you should at least give us a ballpark figure as to the stakes we're talking about," Adam said.

"I reckon that's fair. We're talking about four hundred acres of prime ranchland that includes the house, outbuildings, about two hundred head of cattle and the horses I've already mentioned."

"What about cash and investments?" one of the guys asked.

"I'm worth about eight million dollars—give or take a few thousand."

Someone gave a low whistle. R.J. didn't see who, but he could tell from the way they all sat up a little straighter in their chairs that he had their attention.

R.J. saw no reason to mention that most of the money had come from the one gamble in his life that had actually paid off for him—a one-dollar lottery ticket purchased from the truck stop in Oak Grove.

He winked and managed a smile. "I'm glad you all came and hopefully we might even discover we like or can at least tolerate each other. Now who wants a beer?"

The others followed R.J. to the kitchen. Adam stepped outside to clear his head.

So this is what it felt like to be bought. Was that what R.J. had done to his mother, insisted she dance to his tune or leave the party? Adam wondered how much it had been worth to the man to get rid of her and Adam.

He expected it was a sizable amount, enough to ease R.J.'s guilt if he'd had any. Even before Adam's mother had remarried, they'd lived in a nice house in an exclusive neighborhood and as far as he knew, there had never been any money worries. His mother still lived in that house.

His phone vibrated. This time he took the call. "Hello, Mom. What's the matter? Can't wait to hear about R.J.'s latest tricks?"

"Did you hear the AMBER Alert the Houston police issued a couple of hours ago?" Her voice was shaking so hard he could barely understand her.

"I haven't."

"Twin girls were kidnapped from their grandmother's home in a Dallas subdivision during the night."

"Is this someone you know?"

"The grandmother is Janice O'Sullivan, Adam. It was Hadley's children who were kidnapped."

His heart bucked and knocked against his chest wall. He fumbled for words while he tried to get his mind around the news. "How did that happen?"

"I have no idea. The only details released were a description of the girls and the area where they were kidnapped."

"Then how do you know the missing girls are Had-ley's daughters?"

"My friend Crystal just called. Her daughter's husband is on the Dallas police force and was one of the first responders to the 911 call. He talked to Hadley. She's frantic."

"I'm sure."

"I know you two had a bitter breakup, son, but her daughters are missing. I think you should go over there and see if you can help."

"She has the Dallas police and maybe even the FBI. I'm sure they don't need me."

"But you're a decorated marine."

"We didn't handle child abductions in Afghanistan, Mom. Besides there's no reason to think Hadley or her husband would appreciate my interference."

"There was no husband around when Crystal's son-in-law talked to her. She was by herself."

"Where was her mother?"

"Janice is in the hospital. She's having surgery this morning. That's why Hadley and the girls are in town. And now her girls have been kidnapped. Hadley can't face this all alone."

"She has a husband."

"But he's not with her now and who knows how long it will take him to get to Dallas. I don't even know where they live. But you're here, Adam. At least talk to her. You've always helped anyone in trouble."

But this wasn't anyone. This was the woman whose image he'd held on to through hell and back only to learn she'd married someone else and borne his children.

The woman he'd spent the past few years trying to erase from his heart and mind.

But Hadley was alone and no doubt terrified, her children in the hands of an abductor. His heart pounded as adrenaline exploded inside him.

She might kick him out when he got there, but not going to her wasn't even an option. Eight million or eighty million dollars on the line, it made no difference.

He was out of here.

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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Trumped Up Charges
By NancyCinNC
In Trumped Up Charges by Joanna Wayne: We find Adam Dalton an ex Marine who was badly injured in the war in Afghanistan. He has arrived at his estranged father's ranch to attend what is suppose to be the reading of R.J. Dalton's will. But not so fast, one is suppose to dead before a will is read "right". While at the Dry Gulch Ranch, he receives a call from his mother informing him that his ex-fiancé's twin daughters have been kidnapped.

Hadley O'Sullivan never told Adam Dalton he was a father. Believing the lies that Adam had told her after he was injured. She made a life for herself and their twin daughters Lacy and Lila. She has been a loving and caring mother to her daughters. Now that their daughters have been kidnapped she tells him the truth. She is determined to find her daughters, no matter that it takes.

Now Adam and Hadley along with help from R.J. and Fred Casey have joined forces to help find the twins. But one Detective isn't sure that Hadley herself isn't behind the kidnapping.

This was my first novel by Joanna Wayne, but it will not be my last. She wrote an Amazing Intrigue story, which had me guessing for a while. This was a non-stop read for me. I was waiting not so patiently to see who had taken the girls. Besides main characters that were well written, the author wrote great secondary characters. One in particular that you just wanted to beat the pulp out out. To make a reader feel that kind of passion in my humble opinion is the sign of a really talented writer. Well done !

Any fans of Intrigue novels will not be disappointed.

5/5 stars

I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Even though I was originally given a copy from NetGalley, I had issues with the download and ended up purchasing this book from Amazon.com

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Another great story
By Jo Ann Robisheaux
Joanna Wayne's newest publication is part of the Big D Dads series. This time, she's centered her story on Adam Dalton, a wounded former Marine. Adam is doing his best to get used to civilian life when he learns that his one true love needs his help. Although he cut all ties with Hadley when his wounds left him partially paralyzed, the news that her twin daughters have been kidnapped brings out the protector in him.
Being near Hadley and seeing her in such great distress is more than Adam can bear, but the load gets heavier when Hadley confesses that he's the father of her daughters. How can Adam rescue his children and protect Hadley? That's the conflict at the center of this fast-paced story that's sure to have you guessing the identity of the kidnapper.
"Trumped Up Charges" is the first story of "The Daltons". Joanna Wayne never fails to deliver a fast-paced story with a satisfying ending and I'm looking forward to the next installment in the Daltons' series.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
fun & great suspense
By Kindle Customer
Hott Synopsis:
Every mothers worst fears are realized the morning Hadley wakes up to find her twin daughters missing from their beds.
Now, the lead detective starts making noises about Hadley being a suspect. Is he even serious? Hadley can barely function from fear and she's the only person he can think to pin the blame on?
In walks the man of her dreams and her daughters' unknowing father to further place suspicion firmly on Hadley's head. Can this house of cards she's built hold up under the strain or will this kidnapping mean the end of all of Hadley's dreams.

Hott Review:
What I liked: I loved the book. It was fun, there was great suspense. I really enjoyed Hadley & Adam. I will definitely read this again. However, ...
What I didn't like: There were some very odd maybe misplaced elements in this book. First, there were times that I needed to look at the cover again to see if it was Christian Fiction. It wasn't terrible or frequent but it was noticeable. I also, thought that the story would have worked without the drama of Adam's father.

More...
Author: Joanna Wayne
Source: Harlequin via Netgalley
Grade: A
Steam: YA -- 16+

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