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How to Love, by Katie Cotugno
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For fans of Sarah Dessen and John Green, this is a breathtaking debut about a couple who fall in love...twice.
Before: Reena Montero has loved Sawyer LeGrande for as long as she can remember. But he's never noticed that Reena even exists...until one day, impossibly, he does. Reena and Sawyer fall in messy, complicated love. Then Sawyer disappears without a word, leaving a devastated—and pregnant—Reena behind.
After: Almost three years have passed, and there's a new love in Reena's life: her daughter. Reena's gotten used to life without Sawyer, but just as suddenly as he disappeared, he turns up again. Reena wants nothing to do with him, though she'd be lying if she said his being back wasn't stirring something in her.
After everything that's happened, can Reena really let herself love Sawyer LeGrande again?
- Sales Rank: #157303 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-10-01
- Released on: 2013-10-01
- Format: Kindle eBook
Amazon.com Review
The Official How to Love Playlist By Katie Cotugno
From Joni Mitchell to Leann Rimes to Te Vaka, I listened to all of it while I wrote this book. Songs that fit the story, songs I thought Sawyer and Reena might like, songs that just plain gave me a lot of Big Feelings. Here are a few that are still in heavy rotation:
1. “Down in the Valley” by the Head and the Heart
Live music plays such an important role in How to Love, and the Head and the Heart puts on maybe the best live show I’ve ever seen. This track in particular is such a Sawyer song to me.
2. “You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go” by Bob Dylan, performed by Miley Cyrus
This is a Bob Dylan song, but I have to say that Miley’s version is my very fave. “You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome” is a song about knowing you’re going to get left behind and not being able to do a single thing to stop it.
3. “So Far Around the Bend” by the National
I mean, if “I know you’re a serious lady” isn’t a perfect description of Reena, I don’t know what is.
4. “I Dream of Chicago” by Parlours
This one’s a traveling song, and a beautiful one.
5. “Reunion” by Indigo Girls
“Reunion” always makes me think of Reena’s relationship with her family—both the Monteros and the LeGrandes—especially the lines “I have no need for anger with intimate strangers/I have nothing to hide.”
6. “Poison and Wine” by the Civil Wars
This one’s about a good/bad love affair, and it aches.
7. “Bring It on Home to Me” by Sam Cooke, performed by Tony Lucca
This song is actually mentioned by name in the book. It’s a Sam Cooke song, but the Tony Lucca cover is the sexiest. It’s just science.
8. “All This and Heaven Too” by Florence and the Machine
In my head, “All This and Heaven Too” is Reena’s theme song. To me, at least, it’s about a smart girl trying to figure out, you know—how to love.
From School Library Journal
Gr 9 Up–Sawyer LaGrande's unexplained disappearance rocked Serena Montero's world. It was love at first sight, and then he ran away and left her pregnant. Now he's back in town and ready to pick up where they left off. Serena, however, has a steady boyfriend and is now the mother of a two-year-old. She had to repair her broken heart and make peace with her very Catholic father, who does not approve of her out-of-wedlock child. She is older and wiser, but Sawyer was the love of her life. Will she make the same mistake twice? The language and content of this novel will appeal to teens, but the structure is an issue. Every other chapter is a flashback, making the plot seem choppy and disjointed. The portrayal of a Catholic Hispanic family in modern-day Florida is refreshing, but the shuffling between the present and the past may make it hard for readers to lose themselves in the characters. The story's mood is rather depressing; Serena deals with the death of her mother, the death of her best friend, Sawyer's abandonment, her child, her family's disapproval, and her father's heart attack. Yet, despite her struggles, she is still able to find her silver lining at the end of the story. How to Love may not appeal to a wide audience, but patrons who read and enjoyed Jamie McGuire's Beautiful Disaster (S & S, 2012) will find Sawyer and Serena's frustrating relationship familiar.–Jeni Tahaney, Duncanville High School Library, TXα(c) Copyright 2013. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
From Booklist
The before: responsible 16-year-old Reena pushes to graduate from high school early so that she can get the hell out of Florida and attend Northwestern. But Sawyer LeGrande, a boy who has been in Reena’s life forever—and who she has loved forever—finally notices her. After a few months of dating, troubled Sawyer disappears and Reena discovers she is pregnant. The after: Sawyer returns after several years away, and it turns out he still stirs something in Reena that can’t be ignored. The “Before” and “After” chapters alternate and can be summed up by the following: “I didn’t understand what I had with Sawyer: I couldn’t figure out how he could make me so happy and so miserable all at once.” Cotugno’s debut ambitiously, and intriguingly, follows a couple who fall in love twice, over two different time periods. But Sawyer and Reena don’t appear to change much, and their constant arguing may leave readers wondering why—other than a clear physical attraction and a shared daughter—the past appears to be repeating itself. Still, the compelling voices of the characters and strong writing should carry readers along. Grades 9-12. --Ann Kelley
Most helpful customer reviews
29 of 30 people found the following review helpful.
What is wrong with this girl?
By Mckelle George
I agree with another reviewer that although How to Love has some pretty decent writing, and the formatting of the "before and after" helps move the story along at a weaving, pleasant pace . . . The main character, Reena, becomes increasingly unlikable the longer the book goes on. Sawyer is a terrible boyfriend--a terrible person, in fact--in so many ways. Reena seems in lust with him, infatuated with this this inexplicable appeal that comes off very bad-boy Twilight-y, nothing more. Sawyer makes many mistakes, as does Reena, but there are no redeemable qualities to counteract this. Reena herself is exhausting and whiny. If the girl had actually learned something from all the heartache she went through, perhaps acknowledged and grew from some of her flaws, my review might be different, but as it was, both protagonists were so incessantly unlikable I couldn't put up with the book anymore. It was too unbelievable that she wouldn't walk away from him.
Too bad. I like Cotugno, and her writing. But even an angsty romance should be one you want to root for, but I was rooting for her to kick Sawyer to the curb the whole time.
35 of 39 people found the following review helpful.
Ruined by an unhealthy romance that never got better
By Ashley Evans
How to Love could have easily been a 4--or maybe even 5--star book, but there was one massive problem: Sawyer. Sawyer literally stole those stars one by one. POOF! GONE! He just chipped away at them every time he pulled a jerk move that made me want to pummel his face in with rocks.
How to Love started out pretty strong for me. I had kind of a morbid interest in it, very similar to My Life After Now by Jessica Verdi. Teenage pregnancy? I was curious. I wanted all the details; I wanted to know exactly how/when/why it happened. But FYI, they never actually tell us how she got pregnant. NEVER. That's what I wanted to know. We don't know when it happened, or if they used a condom or not. All we know is that she woke up with morning sickness one day.
At first, I could really relate to Reena. She was the girl who loved quiet summers playing card games and hanging out with her best friend. But all around her, people were "moving on". She lost her best friend to the drinking and partying scene. I could totally relate. Reena just wanted things to be the way they always were; she didn't want things to change. She wasn't interested in partying or any of that.
"I wasn't shy, exactly. That's never what it was. I just didn't know how to do this, is all, the clang and chatter of high school."
"I had no friends in tenth grade. Okay, that's dramatic. I had friends. I didn't eat lunch alone on a toilet seat or anything. Mostly, I just didn't eat lunch. I went to the library."
THAT WAS ME!!! I could totally relate.
But everything went to the dogs as soon as Sawyer stepped on the scene...
I feel like we were supposed to love Sawyer despite his faults. He was supposed to be the "bad boy" in high school who made mistakes, but then comes back and redeems himself. But I felt like I never had a reason to like Sawyer or forgive him, but I had so many reasons to hate him. Sawyer was not a nice guy. He was constantly drunk, on drugs, flirting with other girls, and dragging Reena to parties. Reena obviously hated parties, but she went along with him. And while he was out popping pills and getting drunk and hitting it up with other girls, she was hiding out in the kitchen desperately wanting to go home. EVERY TIME.
"We'll just stop by for a minute," he always said before we got there, but in the end a minute usually took an hour or more.
"I didn't want to, was the problem, and so I sat on the counter in any number of kitchens, drinking warm bear out of a red plastic cup and watching the minutes go by on the digital clock on the microwave, hoping no one said anything to me as they moved through the room, and wishing I was home watching reruns with Soledad. [..] Once, I brought a book and hid in the pantry to read it."
But you know what? She always gave in. She always continued to go with him, even if she really didn't want to, and hid in pantries when she got there. So I slowly started to lose sympathy for her. How can I sympathize with a girl who puts herself through this? She could have told Sawyer she didn't want to go. She could have dumped his pathetic, druggie butt. But no, she didn't. She complains and fights with him, but she never breaks up with him. WHY??? As far as I saw, he had exactly zero redeeming qualities. He never had "nice" or "sweet" moments. He was always a royal jerk.
** MINOR SPOILER **
And when Reena got accepted into college, Sawyer wanted to take her out on a nice date to celebrate... But guess what... he said they had to make "a little stop" on the way.. SO HE COULD MEET WITH HIS DRUG DEALER!! And he freaking brought her along. What a jerk move. Who does that?
** END MINOR SPOILER **
And in an "after" chapter, when Reena finally confronted Sawyer for leaving her without even saying goodbye, guess what he said? He actually had the balls to try to pin it on her.
"You know, what I love about all this is how conveniently you forgot that you were on your way out, too, when I left. You told me every day."
He's basically saying it's okay that he left her, because she was planning on leaving anyway... TO GO TO COLLEGE!!! That does not give him the right to just walk out without even saying goodbye.
Long story short, Sawyer was a huge huge huge jerk, and he never did anything to make me like him. He never did nice things for Reena, he never had sweet moments. He was always high out of his mind or drunk or having sex with her. This is going to sound so "disapproving parent" of me, but he was a bad influence. He was encouraging her to do drugs and skip class. And I know some teenagers are like that, but the key thing here is that Reena didn't want to do those things, and yet he kept pressuring her to. There was never a reason for Reena to like him.. she just did. It was pure lust, as far as I'm concerned. And on top of that, she had a great guy in the "after" chapters, but she ditched him to go running back to Sawyer. Why???
As Sawyer became more and more of a jerk, he knocked stars off my rating. As Reena kept running back to him, I lost sympathy for her. At first I felt bad for her because Sawyer ran out on her... but now... honestly.... she kind of had it coming. She stayed with this guy when he was nothing but disrespectful to her. He was always a flaky boyfriend, so it's no surprising that he just up and left one day.
I feel like How to Love has all the makings of a really good book. It's well written, I like the alternating "before" and "after" chapters, and it's an interesting story. But it is completely ruined by Sawyer. He was a horrible character and slowly made me detest the book. And since Reena kept running back to him, I started to detest her as well. She also had this really annoying habit of raging at Sawyer for being a jerk, and then when he'd say "What's wrong? Are you mad?" she'd lie and say nothing was wrong. So he'd be out flirting with other girls, she'd start acting b**chy towards him, he'd ask what the problem was, and she'd say NOTHING. She just let everything go and never stood up for herself.
If, somehow, you don't detest Sawyer, then I think it's really easy to love this book. But if you get as annoyed with his horrible jerkyness as I did, then it's kind of a book-ruiner. The problem is that How to Love is ALL about the romance and loving and all that, but when you have a horrible love interest, that just makes the book painful to read.
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Parents beware!
By muddyboy1
Is this book well written? - Yes! Did the book keep my interest? - Absolutely! Did I like the books message? It is horrible! The title of the book should be changed into How to be infatuated with a boy and make bad decisions that will ruin your life? I would never want a teenage daughter on mine reading this book. The story is about a 16 year old girl with straight A's ready to go to Northwestern University who falls under the spell of a drug using member of a rock band. She gets pregnant and time and again she gets opportunities to make good decisions. I keep rooting for her. This was what kept my interest. Spoiler alert - don't read the next sentence! I kept hoping that she would see this guy as a manipulative jerk but she never does. There should be a sequel in which he leaves her with three kids and she realizes that this isn't How to Love it is How to Ruin Your Life!
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